Thanksgiving

For the last couple of years, there has been little opportunity for me to reflect on or really engage in the holiday season -- Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I was usually in the middle of a mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical "marathon" that ended up with me in a semi-catatonic state by the time Christmas rolled around.  I spent most of Thanksgiving last year in bed sick for 3 days!  I'm thankful to NOT be sick this year (in fact, I've only been sick ONCE since then!  Thank You, Jesus!)

When I helped to lead the Father's House discipleship school in South Africa, my friend Clare would always teach on thankfulness.  At the end of her talk, she'd loudly play music and have us all shout out to God what we were thankful for, for at least 10 minutes.  It was an "every man/woman for him/her self" kind of a thing, and you'd hear what the people around you were thanking God for.  We hit every area in life and everything we could think of.  One of my favorites is one of the students saying, "I'm thankful for my hair!" complete with actions, enthusiastically running his fingers through his hair and pulling it to stand straight up.  He did have nice hair.

Thankfulness is really an amazing thing.  Have you ever been incredibly thankful for hot, running water?  Not because you've just spent some time in Mozambique where running water and hot water are rarities, but because you just decided to thank God for it every time you took a shower, realizing that it's a privilege that most of humanity hasn't enjoyed.  And then eventually the mental reasoning of thankfulness becomes thankfulness from the heart: Wow.  I actually get to enjoy hot, running water!!

Sometimes thankfulness is hard when disappointments or trials or losses come.  (And maybe a waning of thankfulness feeds the feeling of disappointment.)  We all get hit by them in one way or another.  Mixed in with all the amazing experiences and opportunities and things God has done has also been, since March of 2015, pretty steady stream of disappointments, trials, and losses -- more than I'd ever experienced before.  The challenge has been, and my question for myself, can I find Jesus in the middle of it all?  When even a good thing feels like a consolation prize.  Can I still trust Him, know and believe that He's good, that He's with me, that He won't forsake me, that He's faithful, and thank Him for it all, even for the difficult things that I don't like, because He's greater than it all, He can (and will) use it to make me more like Him, and He'll be glorified in it? 

In the midst of seeing hopes and dreams and vision die, even things I strongly felt like He said, can I surrender it to Him, try to get a glimpse of eternity and Heaven, and trust in the One Who is the Resurrection and the Life?  And then pause to remember what He has done.  How He left the ease and comfort of Heaven for this challenging place called earth and died for me.  For His amazing mercy, grace, love, nearness, and faithfulness.  For my family and friends.  For the people He's let me see with His eyes.  For the beauty of His creation that He's allowed me to see.  For the time I told Him I needed Him to protect, defend, and provide for me, He came through in mere hours.  For how He's provided a job, a place to stay, a vehicle, food and coff... I mean water.  And hot running water.  And yes, for coffee.

Thank Daddy for being so good, for being faithful, for always pursuing me, always loving me, and for never changing or shifting in any way at all.  Thank You for the opportunity to go to Africa and my time there, and the same for South Africa specifically.  Thank You for bringing me to Waco (against my wildest imaginations).  Thank You for all the difficulties over the past year or two and for Your discipline in my life.  Thank You that nothing is wasted with You.  Thank You that You have always brought me through.  Thank You that Your word never returns void.  Thank You that You are the Yes and Amen.  Thank You for life.  Thank You for the things you will bring about.  And thank You for all the little things I so easily take for granted, from a bed and blankets and pillow, clothing, electricity, plumbing, senses that work, legs to walk, hands and fingers, "my hair"... and hot running water.