San Diego!

So last week, I was asked if I wanted to go to a conference in San Diego and given about a day to think about it and decide.  It would be a good experience.  I'd get to brush up on some skills, refresh my memory, and learn new things, as well as meet other people at other schools doing the same thing -- network.  I like networking.  And the conference is at the Catamaran Resort and Spa Hotel.  On the beach.  Of a bay.  And the ocean.  What does that mean?  The hotel is practically surrounded by beach and water.  Going was a no brainer.

Because I was the only one going, I could have brought someone with me, and tried to work something out, but things just seemed to fall through, and it was a quick, last minute thing.  So I did the first thing I usually do when trying to make a complex decision involving people -- I stressed out and over-analyzed.  After about a day of that, I decided maybe I should do the smart thing and, oh, I don't know... pray about it.  And... I felt like I was supposed to go alone (as did another friend).  The next day I got into work and the person who was helping to arrange everything said, "What are the exact dates?  I'm looking at plane tickets for your trip."  And that was that.

I used to go on vacations by myself every summer.  I started doing that because I decided it was good to go on a vacation, and even if I didn't have anyone to go with, I figured it would still be good to get out and experience something.  I decided that these were my "vacation with God", and I'd just hang with Him.  In Smokey Mountain National Park.  Or Nashville.  Or Florida.  Or Oregon.  Or wherever.  He always hooked me up with people to hang out with for part of the time, but then it was also just He and I for part of the time.  That's what this San Diego conference kinda feels like.  I'll have time with people, but it'll also just be the two of us.  It's almost like He set up a bit of vacation (with some work) to enjoy, and paid for it an everything.  I've never been to San Diego before.  We have a few evenings free, so I'll be able to just relax and enjoy it and not have to worry about cost or anything -- just relax and hang out with Him.

Which will bring me to another topic for next time...

A Little of This and That

I love being in California. And yes, I do like the summer.  I know it gets up to 105.  But with the heat index, it does that in Nebraska and Texas too.  But a dry 105 feels like 99!  It's amazing.  I'll take it.

I'm done with classes and ready for summer.  I'm doing a week long CRI (Crisis Response International) training, which will be anything but restful.  It looks like I'm going to a conference at a hotel right on the beach in San Diego for about 5 days, which should be wonderful!

Today my professor beefed up my paper's abstract and submitted it to an early Novemeber conference in Boston.  And I hope to work on my "previous work" section of my thesis and get other time-consuming things in order and taken care of.  Maybe I'll work on writing a book.  I've always thought about doing that.  And just read a book or two for fun.  What's that like??  I'm not sure that I remember!

And, of course, I'm going to relax, hang out, have fun.  So far, so good!  I've been doing such a good job at having fun, that I'm falling asleep, yet again.

Soft Heart

One thing that has always amazed me about God is that He maintains a soft heart, continuing to love, through anything we may do.  It’s an area where we’re just so completely unlike Him.  It doesn’t mean that He doesn’t get angry or doesn’t have boundaries.  But He doesn’t have “attitude” that comes with it.  You know the kind of attitude I’m talking about, don’t you?  The “well, fine – be that way!”  Or, “Oh yeah?  I’ll show you.”  There’s no bitterness or resentment, there's no "got'cha" or "I'll get you".  He doesn’t go on the attack or withdraw, He doesn’t manipulate, or exhibit any of the internal ‘tude that we’re all prone to have when relationships or circumstances or life in general don’t go our way.

Picture it: You’ve spent just about every day of your life for the past 3 years with a group of a dozen friends.  You’ve taught them everything you could.  You’ve answered their questions.  You’ve gone to parties with them.  You’ve been patient with them.  You’ve healed their sick relatives.  They’ve watched you heal countless people.  You called them family.  But the moment the authorities decide there’s something wrong with you and arrest you… they all disappear.  They abandon you.  Even all-out reject you, or deny ever knowing you.  After 3 years of sharing everything, they’re just gone.

Then to be beaten and tortured, left totally alone, and nailed to a cross – all totaling hours of increasingly excruciating pain.  What would any of us do?  Wouldn’t we just snap at some point?  In the midst of the physical pain plus the mental and emotional pain of being abandoned by those closest to you, wouldn’t you yell out, “SCREW YOU!”?  Or at the very least, mentally berate them for being the most worthless set of friends on the planet?  But He said, “Father, forgive them.”  And maybe He wasn’t only referring to the people who were there.

When we’re hurt or offended or under pressure – even just feeling over-busy at work – we tend to snap, go on the attack, or withdraw.  But Jesus never did that – never does that.  It’s one of the things that amazes me most about His character – He heart is always soft and loving.  He always leaves His heart open, yet He’s also not a doormat and does still maintain boundaries.  He’s always ready, willing and wanting us to come back at any moment without feeling any residual “junk” about what we’ve said to Him or how we’ve treated Him or ignored Him, and  there's no expectation of "making up for it".  He doesn’t have past, bad experiences that continue to stick with Him and influence how He interacts with and responds to people.  He’s just always Himself: unchanged by any outside force, but instead pure and untarnished, loving and soft-hearted.  That's what I want to be like.

It's a Blog!

It has been suggested that I start a blog in which to post some of my random musings.  I'd been thinking about it anyway, so, hey, might as well!  No promises to how this will go. But hopefully the next time I post, I'll at least be more awake than I am now.