You ever wonder about Joseph's strange behavior when his brother's first show up in Egypt? He recognizes them immediately, but he pretends "to be a stranger" and immediately speaks "harshly" to them. He remembers the dreams he had before, then accuses them of being spies and throws them all in jail for 3 days. Initially he said he'd send one brother back with grain and insist that he bring the youngest brother, Benjamin, back before he'd release the others. But after they've been in jail for 3 days, he says that he'll only keep one in jail and let the others return. Joseph hears them lamenting about how they treated him (causing him great distress and he pleaded for his life) and that they're now being treated harshly because of what they had done. The brothers didn't realize it, but Joseph understand them and breaks down into tears.
Joseph keeps Simeon, but then... he gives them all their gold back! Which is nice... but they have a panic attack because was so hostile toward them. When they come back with Benjamin, he shows preferential treatment to Benjamin and then frames him for stealing his cup. The brothers are beside themselves with panic. Judah offers himself in Benjamin's place.
The general concensus has been that Joseph's song and dance with Benjamin was to test his brothers and see what they'd do. But what about everything else? It seems like we often try to make sense of it from the perpsective of Joseph was a saint and (at least at this point) did no wrong. He'd moved past his hurts from his brothers selling him off to slavery because he name Manasseh saying, "God has made me forget all my troubles in my father's household." So his strange, errat
ic behavior was a part of some godly, strategic plan.
But... let's get real. His erratic behavior wasn't by some well-planned design on his part -- he was an emotional wreck and acted like any of us do when we're a wreck. If Joseph had really forgiven his brothers, he still hadn't seen them -- and he was still human. Did all the memories of that horrible day flood back? Was he harsh and making accusations against them simply because he felt hurt and angry again? Did he hide his identity from them because he didn't trust them? Was he fearful about how they'd react? Did he simply not know how else to respond? So it was just easier and safer to hide who he was.
I know that feeling: hiding who you are from your family. Something happens that's hurtful -- you somehow felt disapproved of or rejected -- and it just seems safer to hide your identity. I've done that -- currently doing it even. Certain things that are important to me, I just haven't let people know. In fact, I've intentionally kept it from others. When asked what I'm interested in or what role I may want in something... I say nothing, or that it doesn't matter -- I'll do whatever. The thing I enjoy, am interested in, good at, or even passionate about, I won't say. I enjoy being part of a worship team and would love to help make a way for people to enter into God's presence. But what if everyone thinks that's ridiculous and I'm not really good at it? I'd like to be involved with (or start) a ministry like Fresh Start or CISM 7, but what if no one comes or I'm just not equipped to do it? It just seems safer to hide who I am rather than put myself out there again.
Joseph was a man of God, he did follow the Lord, but he was still human like the rest of is. He still felt rejected and hurt and for a time even hid his true identity. But eventually... he did reveal his identity to his brothers, and his brothers embraced him.
