I heard it mentioned today that among believers, most think it's part of their responsibility to share the Reason for the hope they have, and most even feel like they know how to, but few actually do, so why is that? One possibility put forth was disobedience. And while I believe that certainly factors in, I wondered if there are other factors.
There was a time when it was very easy for me to share -- it just came naturally. I never had to think about it or wonder how. It was as natural as bringing up a good friend or loved one (it was doing just that). Then I started hearing often about how important it was to share the plan of salvation and see people become followers of The Way. I'd certainly talked about The Way and Source and Reason for my hope, but had I really laid out "the plan" in thorough detail? I hadn't seen anyone become a follower, nor had I seen anyone's life change dramatically, so I had not lived up to my responsibility. I ended up feeling like a failure and inadequate, even before I started.
I know it is said to do certain things anyway, even when you don't feel like it, and there is certainly merit to that and time for that. And I know that Paul said he didn't care about people's motives, only that The Way be proclaimed. But when I stand before the One I love, I do care about my motives. And I know that people can sometimes (often?) "sense" where things are coming from...how could I share about "Hope" out of a sense of failure and fear, and misrepresent that Hope and the One I love? I don't know if it was disobedience, although part of it was certainly not believing what He said.
Not sharing broke my heart. Having a part of me not want to share broke my heart even more, because I didn't want to disappoint Him, but felt like that was all I did. I couldn't hear His direction -- I was too overwhelmed with feeling the weight of having to share with everyone right away -- skip the chit-chat and get to business! But I wasn't made to shout on the street corners. I want to talk with and see the person in front of me, yet still want to share.
I still haven't shared much. I've asked about it. I try to look for opportunities. Maybe I've missed some. Maybe part of me still feels pressured. Maybe I'm not obeying. That's not my heart. He says He's not disappointed. Maybe I again need a greater revelation of His grace and love. Maybe in one area or another, we all do.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
To Hong Kong and Back In 7 Days
I spent a few days in Hong Kong at a conference for Sign Language linguistics and Deaf education. I enjoyed so many aspects of it, but one truly amazing thing was the number of different countries represented in one way or another: at least 15. US, Brazil, Germany, Netherlands, UK, Australia, Hungary, Turkey, France, Singapore, Malaysia, China, Japan, Taiwan, Cambodia, Vietnam, Myanmar, Mongolia, Fiji, India...
Most of these places have different spoken languages, all have different signed languages. Presentations were given in English, ASL, or HKSL (Hong Kong Sign Language). Spoken language interpretations went out in several languages to the interpreters who then interpreted into their respective sign language. Everyone communicated in sign language, and you couldn't really tell if someone was Deaf or hearing unless you knew well the sign language being used. So several people (particularly Asians) thought I was Deaf, and I thought a few people were Deaf when they were actually hearing. And even though people were communicating with a lot of different sign languages, you could somehow figure out what others were saying. Well, I had a hard time because I'm not even proficient in one sign language, but everyone else was able to make it work. It was amazing.
And it was amazing on so many levels. Culturally in the way of different nations. Culturally in the way of Deaf and hearing. All the different languages and sign languages. But all able to come together, communicate, share information, and enjoy meeting each other. Even though I don't know Taiwanese Sign Language, I could understand must more TSL than I could spoken Taiwanese. It ended up making me ponder what Heaven will be like: people from all different backgrounds, languages, and cultures, yet still having something in common and somehow able to communicate with each other.
The saddest thing to me was my mediocre signing skills. I wanted to interact more!! But I knew there was no way I could ask an academic question and understand the response. Other topics I was unsure of my ability to communicate -- any conversation that could go deeper. It made me wonder how I can fast-track becoming more proficient in ASL...and definitely want to go back.
I'd forgotten how much I love other cultures, peoples, languages...part of why my poor communication skills was so sad to me, to have a sweet, beautiful Taiwanese woman sign to me in TSL and only be able to understand about 50%. And to "hear" the stories and experiences of people who've been looked down upon by some just because they can't hear.
It's crazy that I plan a trip to Hong Kong like I'd plan a trip to a city in the US that I'd never been there before. Basically, "I have my plane ticket -- I can figure everything else out." (I am the weirdest mix of planner/non-planner! I guess the first step MUST be planned, then... whatever!) Don't know if that's the best method... but for Hong Kong it was fine. I rode the bus and the train wondering how many other representatives of the Kingdom had ridden that bus, or that train, or down that street. I wondered how many had heard... and didn't know what to do, other than pray that His presence would come to every place I stepped and to the entire city.
Most of these places have different spoken languages, all have different signed languages. Presentations were given in English, ASL, or HKSL (Hong Kong Sign Language). Spoken language interpretations went out in several languages to the interpreters who then interpreted into their respective sign language. Everyone communicated in sign language, and you couldn't really tell if someone was Deaf or hearing unless you knew well the sign language being used. So several people (particularly Asians) thought I was Deaf, and I thought a few people were Deaf when they were actually hearing. And even though people were communicating with a lot of different sign languages, you could somehow figure out what others were saying. Well, I had a hard time because I'm not even proficient in one sign language, but everyone else was able to make it work. It was amazing.
And it was amazing on so many levels. Culturally in the way of different nations. Culturally in the way of Deaf and hearing. All the different languages and sign languages. But all able to come together, communicate, share information, and enjoy meeting each other. Even though I don't know Taiwanese Sign Language, I could understand must more TSL than I could spoken Taiwanese. It ended up making me ponder what Heaven will be like: people from all different backgrounds, languages, and cultures, yet still having something in common and somehow able to communicate with each other.
The saddest thing to me was my mediocre signing skills. I wanted to interact more!! But I knew there was no way I could ask an academic question and understand the response. Other topics I was unsure of my ability to communicate -- any conversation that could go deeper. It made me wonder how I can fast-track becoming more proficient in ASL...and definitely want to go back.
I'd forgotten how much I love other cultures, peoples, languages...part of why my poor communication skills was so sad to me, to have a sweet, beautiful Taiwanese woman sign to me in TSL and only be able to understand about 50%. And to "hear" the stories and experiences of people who've been looked down upon by some just because they can't hear.
It's crazy that I plan a trip to Hong Kong like I'd plan a trip to a city in the US that I'd never been there before. Basically, "I have my plane ticket -- I can figure everything else out." (I am the weirdest mix of planner/non-planner! I guess the first step MUST be planned, then... whatever!) Don't know if that's the best method... but for Hong Kong it was fine. I rode the bus and the train wondering how many other representatives of the Kingdom had ridden that bus, or that train, or down that street. I wondered how many had heard... and didn't know what to do, other than pray that His presence would come to every place I stepped and to the entire city.
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