I don’t typically like posting about things that are controversial, but this issue has just been on my mind and heart: The gorilla that was shot and killed to rescue a 3-4 year old boy who climbed through security and fell into the gorilla habitat.
If anyone knows anything about how I feel about my dog, you know that I love animals. Fresly was my “baby”. I still miss him. Honestly, I still hope he's okay and that his new family is taking good care of him. And in subtle was I’ve done what so many are doing now. There was a movie that came out many years ago when some threat to earth was vaporizing life. The trailer showed a dog being vaporized and… it bothered me. More than when the same trailer showed the same thing happening to humans. And then the fact that it bothered me bothered me. How could watching the death of an animal be more disturbing than watching the death of a human?! That is not okay! And that’s where many people are today.
I’ve been shocked at how many counts of verbal homicide I’ve read through today. I don’t normally read many comments because on issues like this, it’s just reading a lot of anger and hate, and I’d just rather not! But I’ve been thinking about and listening to teachings on the death of Jesus and the cross and sin and our need for a Savior and how He is our only hope. So reading this verbal massacre struck me. And it struck me that a week ago, all this malice and hatred and anger and murder were in people’s hearts, hiding. This incident only made those things come out for a segment of the population. And apart from Jesus, that is in each of us, given the “right” conditions. And God sees it all, has seen it all, all the time, even if it’s hidden. It was painful to read, at best, the slander against the mother (whom it seems may have been smiling at a camera, with her son at her side, both posing for a picture, and for a few seconds was distracted from her son’s movements due to the picture taking — kids are lightening fast!), and calls for death and various forms of torture and just horrible, horrible comments at worst. Murder, proudly streaming from the hearts of so many. Apart from Jesus, we’re all murderers, and set ourselves up as all-knowing expert, jury, and judge, convinced that our self-righteous sentence is justice. We are horribly deceived.
The value of human life and animal life has been a large part of this discussion, many thinking human and animal life is equal, or even that animal life is more valuable because they’re helpless. There is a godly component to valuing the earth and animal life — one of the tasks God gave us when He created us and what we see now was to care for the animals and for the earth. That is godly and part of God’s design. But it was never to be at the expense of humans — of men, women, and children.
I must say emphatically, that one human life, any one, is of more value and worth than every animal that’s ever lived for two reasons.
1.) Men and women were created in the image of God Himself. Animals were not. We, astonishingly, are the only beings in all of creation that actually reflect the character and attributes of God. Some of these things are seen in our capacity to love, experience a wide range of emotions, imagine, and create beyond what any other life on earth can. (Part of the whole “fall” issue is that we often don’t reflect those attributes well — as in this case with all the angry comments.)
2.) God became a human being, Jesus, and then died the death penalty that we all deserved. We were all hateful, angry, murderers at heart, all deserving the death sentence (as so many have said this mother, and even her son, deserve), but God Himself took our death penalty upon Himself. God values humans, you, more than He values protecting His own feelings, comfort, and life. He didn’t become a squirrel or dog or horse or gorilla. He became a human. And He didn’t die for those animals either. He died for humans. And if there were only one human, you, that would have been enough reason for Him to die in your place — only yours. Father God values human life at the price of His Son Jesus. God's estimation of your value is His own life. That is infinite value. That is why all the animals to have ever lived will together never outweigh the value of one human life. And when we come to Him, acknowledging the various forms of hate and violence within ourselves, accepting His death in our place, and deciding to believe what He says, He can somehow take the worst of us and make us into the most gracious, kind, joyful, patient, loving people the world has ever seen.
Finally, I would like to point out that Satan has been trying to destroy humans since we were first created. He was the one who tempted Adam and Eve, twisting God’s words and saying death wouldn’t be the result of disobeying and eating the fruit the Lord said not to. The Bible also says that this enemy of ours, who has wanted us all dead from the beginning, is out to steal, kill, and destroy and that his target is humans. Not birds or fish or rhinos or elephants or zebras or gorillas — but *us*! To in any way say that the life of an animal is more valuable than any human at all is to agree and take sides with the one who wants you dead, and to say that the One who created you created trash.
God deeply loves all of His creation. But you, YOU, He wants to call “my child”. He cares for everything He has created, but you, YOU, He wants to call “my beloved”. He says of the sparrows and lilies that He feeds them and cares for them. But for humanity He uses the language of Father to child and Husband to wife. And He is a very, very good Father and a very, very good Husband.
And, by they way, if you know Him and love Him, when you enter into life with Him in the home He's prepared in Heaven for those who love Him, if you're not too wrapped up in experiencing the greatest love you've ever experienced, you can probably ask Him if Harambe the gorilla can be a part of life in Heaven. I wouldn't be surprised if He says yes. I've already told Him I want Fresly there with me. Even though I'm pretty sure I'll be completely enamored with Him. He's already captivated me.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Friday, May 27, 2016
A Deal's A Deal
Different life events can cause you to reflect a little bit more on life, or at least on certain aspects of it. So having recently "officially" moved to Cape Town, I've done some reflecting related to moving. Which... I've done a fair amount of. It's kind of strange. Everyone in my high school class was like, "I can't wait to graduate and leave Omaha!" My thoughts were, "I love Omaha and all my friends and family are here. I don't want to leave here!" But God had other ideas. He often does. Ideas you'd never begin to dream of or consider on your own. But that's another story.
So I moved to Michigan. Then Texas. Then California. Then Robertson, South Africa. Now Cape Town. When I moved to Texas, I went for the purpose of going to a missions training school, and I didn't know anyone. It was rough -- I was so happy where I was in Michigan (happy where I was in Nebraska, happy where I was in Michigan, happy where I was in California... guess the Lord normally likes to move me when I'm perfectly happy and all is well where I am!) Several months after moving to Texas, in the midst of missing my friends and adjusting, I told the Lord, "I really don't want to move again. Ever. But if you want me to, I'm willing. But please, I need to know at least one person, have one friend there. I can't move to a place if I don't know anyone." And when I moved to California, I did have friends there. (Another long story.)
The journey to Cape Town has been another interesting adventure. Why, when I came to South Africa, didn't I just come here straight away? In August 2014, I started thinking about an idea to have a ministry to, well, people in ministry. It's tough, you know. Many missionaries quit after 2 years, I've written before about the stress that missionaries face, it's easy to feel like your job is to make everyone happy, people don't really understand, etc etc. This isn't coming from out of how I felt -- this was almost 2 years ago. This is what I'd seen. And from that time back almost 2 years ago, I always thought Cape Town was the logical place for it. Always. But I had zero interest in Cape Town. It was too big and too cramped and the roads were too narrow and there were too many cars and I wanted to be in the mountains. (I don't know what I was thinking.) Then at some point I started thinking about Cape Town. And when I was in Omaha (US) in August 2015, as I drove around Omaha, I kept thinking, "I miss driving in Cape Town." Which was weird, first of all because I'd hardly even ever driven in Cape Town. And second of all, for 18 years whenever I'd visited Omaha, one of my favorite things is to drive on the streets of Omaha - and I'd always think how much I loved seeing the city, getting up on a hill and being able to look over large portions of the city. I'd never thought of another city while driving in Omaha. Why was I thinking of this city that I'd rarely been to and didn't even like a year before? God does change our hearts.
Also around that time, I started meeting and even getting to know people in Cape Town. I started feeling like I had a few friends. And just recently, as I was pondering all this, I realized: The Lord completely honored my request to know people, to have friends in the place that I move to. I didn't have that in August 2014 (I knew one person a little). But I did have friends in Robertson. And by the end of 2015, I somehow had a ridiculous number of contacts, connections, and friends, considering the precious little time I'd spent here. So amazing that He'd be so kind and faithful to remember my request from 13/14 years ago and do that for me, even when I forgot about it!
So I moved to Michigan. Then Texas. Then California. Then Robertson, South Africa. Now Cape Town. When I moved to Texas, I went for the purpose of going to a missions training school, and I didn't know anyone. It was rough -- I was so happy where I was in Michigan (happy where I was in Nebraska, happy where I was in Michigan, happy where I was in California... guess the Lord normally likes to move me when I'm perfectly happy and all is well where I am!) Several months after moving to Texas, in the midst of missing my friends and adjusting, I told the Lord, "I really don't want to move again. Ever. But if you want me to, I'm willing. But please, I need to know at least one person, have one friend there. I can't move to a place if I don't know anyone." And when I moved to California, I did have friends there. (Another long story.)
The journey to Cape Town has been another interesting adventure. Why, when I came to South Africa, didn't I just come here straight away? In August 2014, I started thinking about an idea to have a ministry to, well, people in ministry. It's tough, you know. Many missionaries quit after 2 years, I've written before about the stress that missionaries face, it's easy to feel like your job is to make everyone happy, people don't really understand, etc etc. This isn't coming from out of how I felt -- this was almost 2 years ago. This is what I'd seen. And from that time back almost 2 years ago, I always thought Cape Town was the logical place for it. Always. But I had zero interest in Cape Town. It was too big and too cramped and the roads were too narrow and there were too many cars and I wanted to be in the mountains. (I don't know what I was thinking.) Then at some point I started thinking about Cape Town. And when I was in Omaha (US) in August 2015, as I drove around Omaha, I kept thinking, "I miss driving in Cape Town." Which was weird, first of all because I'd hardly even ever driven in Cape Town. And second of all, for 18 years whenever I'd visited Omaha, one of my favorite things is to drive on the streets of Omaha - and I'd always think how much I loved seeing the city, getting up on a hill and being able to look over large portions of the city. I'd never thought of another city while driving in Omaha. Why was I thinking of this city that I'd rarely been to and didn't even like a year before? God does change our hearts.
Also around that time, I started meeting and even getting to know people in Cape Town. I started feeling like I had a few friends. And just recently, as I was pondering all this, I realized: The Lord completely honored my request to know people, to have friends in the place that I move to. I didn't have that in August 2014 (I knew one person a little). But I did have friends in Robertson. And by the end of 2015, I somehow had a ridiculous number of contacts, connections, and friends, considering the precious little time I'd spent here. So amazing that He'd be so kind and faithful to remember my request from 13/14 years ago and do that for me, even when I forgot about it!
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Unchanging God
Today Facebook reminded me that two years ago I packed up the trunk (boot) my 2004 Honda Civic to get ready to leave California and being my journey with God in (mainly) Africa.
Wow. Two years. Has it really been that long? It seems like less time. But it also seems like more. So much has happened since then. That reminder brought back so many memories. I'd be lying if I never second guessed myself, or had the thought cross my mind wondering if it was worth it. I'd be lying if I said I never missed my house, or my stuff, or my car, or my dog, or a normal job. Of course I miss my friends -- lots of times with the Pauls and amazing bbq, popcorn and cookies with Ivana, chats with Marta and Arnold's coffee. And after a rough year, the thought does cross your mind...
Why miss a house and furniture and things? I asked the Lord about it -- I think part of it was the stability and familiarity. The comfort of having my things and my way, the security of it, and the sense of control I had in "creating" that "security". But I still know what Jesus was inviting me to. And what I knew then is still true now -- that sense of stability and security was fleeting, and it could all be taken from me at any moment. Changes in the economy, in conditions at work, or in my health and "stability" and "security" start to unravel. Some of the challenges of this year have certainly brought that truth to light: a friend dies from cancer, spiritual parents killed in a car accident, another friend diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. The families of these friends of mine have certainly been thrown unto instability, insecurity, and uncertainty.
And it really drives the point home as to how much we need Jesus. He is the only One who doesn't change. He is stable. Security is in Him. You don't need to leave everything and go to another country to know this true. We all need to know how sure and solid God is. We all need to be completely rooted and established in Him. He is the only thing that cannot be shaken. The certainty of His Kingdom and His promises need to be the greatest reality in our lives so we can security in Him when the world reminds us how fallen it is, and how we all need Him.
Your promises remain
Forever and ever
You won't fade away
You never, you never change
You're unchanging God
You're kingdom is forever
You're love will last forever
All glory, all honor
Unto our God forever
Wow. Two years. Has it really been that long? It seems like less time. But it also seems like more. So much has happened since then. That reminder brought back so many memories. I'd be lying if I never second guessed myself, or had the thought cross my mind wondering if it was worth it. I'd be lying if I said I never missed my house, or my stuff, or my car, or my dog, or a normal job. Of course I miss my friends -- lots of times with the Pauls and amazing bbq, popcorn and cookies with Ivana, chats with Marta and Arnold's coffee. And after a rough year, the thought does cross your mind...
Why miss a house and furniture and things? I asked the Lord about it -- I think part of it was the stability and familiarity. The comfort of having my things and my way, the security of it, and the sense of control I had in "creating" that "security". But I still know what Jesus was inviting me to. And what I knew then is still true now -- that sense of stability and security was fleeting, and it could all be taken from me at any moment. Changes in the economy, in conditions at work, or in my health and "stability" and "security" start to unravel. Some of the challenges of this year have certainly brought that truth to light: a friend dies from cancer, spiritual parents killed in a car accident, another friend diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. The families of these friends of mine have certainly been thrown unto instability, insecurity, and uncertainty.
And it really drives the point home as to how much we need Jesus. He is the only One who doesn't change. He is stable. Security is in Him. You don't need to leave everything and go to another country to know this true. We all need to know how sure and solid God is. We all need to be completely rooted and established in Him. He is the only thing that cannot be shaken. The certainty of His Kingdom and His promises need to be the greatest reality in our lives so we can security in Him when the world reminds us how fallen it is, and how we all need Him.
Your promises remain
Forever and ever
You won't fade away
You never, you never change
You're unchanging God
You're kingdom is forever
You're love will last forever
All glory, all honor
Unto our God forever
Friday, February 19, 2016
Soaking in Truth
Several years ago I went to Afghanistan. I loved the people and it was an amazing experience. But it is also one the of dirtiest places I've every been to. Probably equal to Mozambique. When I returned, my feet were brown from the dirt. I spent 15 minutes scrubbing my feet in the showers available at the Dubai airport, but it didn't make much of a difference. My feet were clean....ish. They didn't smell and I wasn't going to track dirt everywhere. But they needed some deep cleaning. Lots of soaking. Serious scrubbing. Getting all traces of the dirt out of my feet wasn't a matter of just washing with soap and water -- they needed soaking in water. It's amazing how easily dirt can get into your skin, but it doesn't come out as easily.
It's a little bit like life and our awareness of spiritual realities. There are truths that we "know". We've touched them and experienced a rudimentary cleaning, so to speak. But the earthly mindset is still in us. And we need to soak in the truths, giving them time to get into the depths of our being and remove the old "dirt from the earth".
One example of this happened with me a few days ago. I ended up listening to a song, well, the reprise of a song that was on its own track, for about two hours. Something struck me the first time I heard it, and I felt like I needed to just keep listening. The words were mostly only, "Only You conquer the grave. You are alive in us, alive in us."
I know that Jesus has conquered the grave. I know I and those of us who know Him will never truly die, but will live with Him forever. I know that Ken and Ty and Terri are more alive now than they ever have been. But also knowing that their bodies have been buried, and I can't talk to them now throws me off a bit. There's still some of that dirt from earth in me. So I soaked in the truth for awhile.
Only You conquer the grave.
You are alive in us, alive in us.
Only You conquer the grave.
You are alive in us, alive in us.
Until the reality that the Living Christ who is in me right now and who lived in Ken, Ty, and Terri on earth is also still present and alive in Ken and Ty and Terri.
And there are so many heavenly realities that the Lord wants us to know and walk in -- our oneness with Him, eternal life with Him, that He's always with us, never leaves or forsakes us, that He is provider, His love, His faithfulness, His holiness, His goodness and kindness, His ever present help, His comfort....and on and on and on. Sometimes we just need to soak in those truths, through meditating on Scripture, listening to someone speak about these truths, or listening to songs about the truths, and giving them time to sink deep inside of us.
It's a little bit like life and our awareness of spiritual realities. There are truths that we "know". We've touched them and experienced a rudimentary cleaning, so to speak. But the earthly mindset is still in us. And we need to soak in the truths, giving them time to get into the depths of our being and remove the old "dirt from the earth".
One example of this happened with me a few days ago. I ended up listening to a song, well, the reprise of a song that was on its own track, for about two hours. Something struck me the first time I heard it, and I felt like I needed to just keep listening. The words were mostly only, "Only You conquer the grave. You are alive in us, alive in us."
I know that Jesus has conquered the grave. I know I and those of us who know Him will never truly die, but will live with Him forever. I know that Ken and Ty and Terri are more alive now than they ever have been. But also knowing that their bodies have been buried, and I can't talk to them now throws me off a bit. There's still some of that dirt from earth in me. So I soaked in the truth for awhile.
Only You conquer the grave.
You are alive in us, alive in us.
Only You conquer the grave.
You are alive in us, alive in us.
Until the reality that the Living Christ who is in me right now and who lived in Ken, Ty, and Terri on earth is also still present and alive in Ken and Ty and Terri.
And there are so many heavenly realities that the Lord wants us to know and walk in -- our oneness with Him, eternal life with Him, that He's always with us, never leaves or forsakes us, that He is provider, His love, His faithfulness, His holiness, His goodness and kindness, His ever present help, His comfort....and on and on and on. Sometimes we just need to soak in those truths, through meditating on Scripture, listening to someone speak about these truths, or listening to songs about the truths, and giving them time to sink deep inside of us.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Getting into the Gulf of Grief
I don't want to dwell on sadness, but I do want to be real, and real in a way that helps and encourages people, that says, "Hey, you're normal, and it's not your responsibility to have it all together." Jesus has it all together. And if He has us, then everything is okay. And really, it's something I've always admired and appreciated about Ty and Terri -- they were so real. I was never under any illusions, thinking them to be perfect, because they (appropriately) shared their struggles. It made us all feel safe around them. Feel like we were normal. And feel like it was okay and not a big deal to struggle -- it's just something that happens in life. No worries. God's still God, and He's still good. We just need to go to Him, and He takes care of everything.
I feel like I'm just getting into the grieving and mourning process (I honestly don't even like the sound of that). Ken, Ty, Terri. The past few months have been too busy, I wasn't sure if I could "go there", and I didn't know that grief could make you so physically tired. So I slept in my free moments. (See previous post.)
The reality of death is hard to grasp. Everything about it just feels not right. I don't know how I've completely missed it all before -- because I was far away, or everything else in life just kept moving and I kept moving with it? I don't know. Maybe I'd just so protected (aka: hardened) my heart in other areas that the deaths of grandparents wasn't able to penetrate the walls of self-protection. But those defenses came down a couple years ago, and while I want to be wise, I want the Lord to be the One who protects my heart.
Several years ago another close friend of mine died -- Ruben. I was only 27 and was so completely clueless as to how to deal with it. It was sudden. He'd been sick, yeah. But he was just going in for some tests. That day, the last day I saw him conscious, he gave me a ride to work because I didn't have a car at the time. He went in for the tests, for some reason things went south. We prayed and prayed and prayed, but he died about a week later.
And what I felt was something I hadn't experienced before. I wanted to fall on the floor and weep. I'd only known him for 16 months, from the time I'd moved to Texas. How could I feel such intensity when I'd barely known him for over a year? But he and his family had invited me over for lunch after church. Regularly. I didn't always go. In fact, it seems like I often didn't go -- I have no idea why! But deep down I knew I was welcome. Really, the invitation from him to come over for Sunday lunch was more similar to a declaration of expectation of my presence. For various reasons, my transition to Texas was challenging. But every Sunday at church he gave me a hug. If I needed help with anything (which I didn't often communicate because I was used to doing things on my own), he would be there to help. He was like my big, Mexican papa. I didn't realize that until that last day when he gave me a ride to work...
There was a church counselor I tried to talk to about how I was feeling. How could I be experiencing so much grief? I mean, it wasn't actually my dad who died, and I hadn't even known him that long! It was his wife and kids who actually had the worst of it. And I felt guilty for feeling the way that I did. I told the counselor... who simply encouraged me to support his wife. That was something I wanted to be able to do, but I simply didn't know how to when I didn't know what to do about my grief, and felt guilty for it.
So I never let myself cry. I literally bit my lip and held my breath through the funeral to keep myself from crying. I should have cried -- I needed to. And 3 years later, I finally did.
When I found out about Ty and Terri, that time I let myself do exactly what I felt like doing: fall on the floor and weep. In the middle of Snoekie's restaurant in Haut Bay (Cape Town). I just didn't care what other people thought. At least that much I'd learned. And that grief is a love song. And I love Ty and Terri. It still baffles me how much I miss people that I hardly ever saw anyway. But I don't even get to see Facebook posts from them any more, or see them during visits home. There are only pictures posted during some other time, like echos of what was, but can't be touched right now. It's just all wrong.
Ty's birthday is January 12th. Which is in about 30 minutes (Brazilian time) from the time of my typing this. Spent some time praying for his family today. I know he's going to have a great birthday. I just wish all of us here could celebrate with him. And tease him. He'd expect a few well-placed jokes about his balding, at the very least. (Which at this point, has probably been corrected...! How he'd enjoy turning that one around on us!)
I feel like I'm just getting into the grieving and mourning process (I honestly don't even like the sound of that). Ken, Ty, Terri. The past few months have been too busy, I wasn't sure if I could "go there", and I didn't know that grief could make you so physically tired. So I slept in my free moments. (See previous post.)
The reality of death is hard to grasp. Everything about it just feels not right. I don't know how I've completely missed it all before -- because I was far away, or everything else in life just kept moving and I kept moving with it? I don't know. Maybe I'd just so protected (aka: hardened) my heart in other areas that the deaths of grandparents wasn't able to penetrate the walls of self-protection. But those defenses came down a couple years ago, and while I want to be wise, I want the Lord to be the One who protects my heart.
Several years ago another close friend of mine died -- Ruben. I was only 27 and was so completely clueless as to how to deal with it. It was sudden. He'd been sick, yeah. But he was just going in for some tests. That day, the last day I saw him conscious, he gave me a ride to work because I didn't have a car at the time. He went in for the tests, for some reason things went south. We prayed and prayed and prayed, but he died about a week later.
And what I felt was something I hadn't experienced before. I wanted to fall on the floor and weep. I'd only known him for 16 months, from the time I'd moved to Texas. How could I feel such intensity when I'd barely known him for over a year? But he and his family had invited me over for lunch after church. Regularly. I didn't always go. In fact, it seems like I often didn't go -- I have no idea why! But deep down I knew I was welcome. Really, the invitation from him to come over for Sunday lunch was more similar to a declaration of expectation of my presence. For various reasons, my transition to Texas was challenging. But every Sunday at church he gave me a hug. If I needed help with anything (which I didn't often communicate because I was used to doing things on my own), he would be there to help. He was like my big, Mexican papa. I didn't realize that until that last day when he gave me a ride to work...
There was a church counselor I tried to talk to about how I was feeling. How could I be experiencing so much grief? I mean, it wasn't actually my dad who died, and I hadn't even known him that long! It was his wife and kids who actually had the worst of it. And I felt guilty for feeling the way that I did. I told the counselor... who simply encouraged me to support his wife. That was something I wanted to be able to do, but I simply didn't know how to when I didn't know what to do about my grief, and felt guilty for it.
So I never let myself cry. I literally bit my lip and held my breath through the funeral to keep myself from crying. I should have cried -- I needed to. And 3 years later, I finally did.
When I found out about Ty and Terri, that time I let myself do exactly what I felt like doing: fall on the floor and weep. In the middle of Snoekie's restaurant in Haut Bay (Cape Town). I just didn't care what other people thought. At least that much I'd learned. And that grief is a love song. And I love Ty and Terri. It still baffles me how much I miss people that I hardly ever saw anyway. But I don't even get to see Facebook posts from them any more, or see them during visits home. There are only pictures posted during some other time, like echos of what was, but can't be touched right now. It's just all wrong.
Ty's birthday is January 12th. Which is in about 30 minutes (Brazilian time) from the time of my typing this. Spent some time praying for his family today. I know he's going to have a great birthday. I just wish all of us here could celebrate with him. And tease him. He'd expect a few well-placed jokes about his balding, at the very least. (Which at this point, has probably been corrected...! How he'd enjoy turning that one around on us!)
Friday, January 8, 2016
"The Lord Gives Sleep to His Beloved"
This phrase started going through my head several weeks ago, if not a couple months ago: "The Lord gives sleep to His beloved." And I felt like the Lord was saying it to me. I thought it was probably a verse, but I didn't know for sure, and I definitely didn't know where it was, although it sounds Psalm-like. And it is. Psalms 127:2b Some versions of that verse say "rest" instead of "sleep", but the Hebrew word actually means sleep. (Sometimes I look these things up.)
Since about September, I've daily felt like I need an afternoon nap. This is a strange phenomenon for me, because I don't actually like naps. I feel like they're boring and a waste of time. I mean, there's a world to see! People to see! Things to do! Books to read! Conversations to be a part of! Anything but....sleep. I've sometimes wished I were one of those people who could live on 5 hours of sleep a night, but I'm not (even though I've had my moments... those seasons don't last though!). But for the last several months I've been more of the attitude, "Whatever, I'm taking a nap. See you later." Every. Day.
I started noticing that if I didn't get to the nap soon enough, I would struggle to stay awake in the middle of conversations with people, usually by 2pm. Sooner if I got up earlier than "normal" or had been around more people than usual. And if I didn't get a nap, I basically went through the adult version of what happens to a two-year-old if they don't get a nap. "Come on Dina... you can smile at people, listen, and engage in conversation. You don't need to throw things at people." Okay, I never, normally, wanted to actually throw things at people. I did struggle to not check out, however, and be adequately social and stuff (technical term). I just literally could not make it past 2pm without a nap, or without adverse effects due to a lack of a nap. What. On. Earth.
Even in Brazil, with no schedule, sleeping in, taking everything easy.... and every day, afternoon nap. After nearly 2 weeks of this, I started getting concerned. Am I just being lazy??! Surely one cannot actually NEED this much sleep. I started wondering if I should start forcing myself to stay awake all day. After all, I'm not actually a two-year-old! But then almost a week ago, something surprising happened. I made it all the way through the day without needing to sleep, and without falling asleep. And then another day. And another. I'm not lazy after all! I just actually, really, seriously needed sleep in a way I didn't know one could need sleep.
"The Lord gives sleep to His beloved." One of the things I'd been wanting to do in all these sleepy afternoons for the last several months was just spend some extra time with Jesus. It usually amounted to nothing more than a few minutes of sleepy chatter and me passing out. But honestly, I always felt like He was saying something like, "Don't worry about whatever you think you need to do to spend time with Me. You need sleep. You can just sleep, and I'll just be here with you." And as I let myself take a nap instead of doing the million things I could have done -- things others may have wanted me to do, things I wanted to do or thought I should do, even things I wanted to do for Him -- I encountered the grace and kindness of God (God!), who would understand my weakness (that I haven't even understood), and say: It's okay if you're tired and can't do the things that you want to do. You don't have to. It's okay for you to just sleep. Don't worry about everything else -- I have it under control. You just sleep.
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul.
~Psalms 23:1-3a
Since about September, I've daily felt like I need an afternoon nap. This is a strange phenomenon for me, because I don't actually like naps. I feel like they're boring and a waste of time. I mean, there's a world to see! People to see! Things to do! Books to read! Conversations to be a part of! Anything but....sleep. I've sometimes wished I were one of those people who could live on 5 hours of sleep a night, but I'm not (even though I've had my moments... those seasons don't last though!). But for the last several months I've been more of the attitude, "Whatever, I'm taking a nap. See you later." Every. Day.
I started noticing that if I didn't get to the nap soon enough, I would struggle to stay awake in the middle of conversations with people, usually by 2pm. Sooner if I got up earlier than "normal" or had been around more people than usual. And if I didn't get a nap, I basically went through the adult version of what happens to a two-year-old if they don't get a nap. "Come on Dina... you can smile at people, listen, and engage in conversation. You don't need to throw things at people." Okay, I never, normally, wanted to actually throw things at people. I did struggle to not check out, however, and be adequately social and stuff (technical term). I just literally could not make it past 2pm without a nap, or without adverse effects due to a lack of a nap. What. On. Earth.
Even in Brazil, with no schedule, sleeping in, taking everything easy.... and every day, afternoon nap. After nearly 2 weeks of this, I started getting concerned. Am I just being lazy??! Surely one cannot actually NEED this much sleep. I started wondering if I should start forcing myself to stay awake all day. After all, I'm not actually a two-year-old! But then almost a week ago, something surprising happened. I made it all the way through the day without needing to sleep, and without falling asleep. And then another day. And another. I'm not lazy after all! I just actually, really, seriously needed sleep in a way I didn't know one could need sleep.
"The Lord gives sleep to His beloved." One of the things I'd been wanting to do in all these sleepy afternoons for the last several months was just spend some extra time with Jesus. It usually amounted to nothing more than a few minutes of sleepy chatter and me passing out. But honestly, I always felt like He was saying something like, "Don't worry about whatever you think you need to do to spend time with Me. You need sleep. You can just sleep, and I'll just be here with you." And as I let myself take a nap instead of doing the million things I could have done -- things others may have wanted me to do, things I wanted to do or thought I should do, even things I wanted to do for Him -- I encountered the grace and kindness of God (God!), who would understand my weakness (that I haven't even understood), and say: It's okay if you're tired and can't do the things that you want to do. You don't have to. It's okay for you to just sleep. Don't worry about everything else -- I have it under control. You just sleep.
The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul.
~Psalms 23:1-3a
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Learning God's Language
Did you know that God still speaks?
Did you know that He wants to speak to you specifically?
He really does!!
One of the questions we always ask is (one basic question in a few forms)... How do I hear God’s voice? How does He speak? How do I know it’s God? What if it’s just me?
But I’m so confident in God’s ability to speak, and in His giving us the ability to communicate with Him, that I know if you or I ask Him a question, He will answer! The easiest question to ask Him and hear an answer for is often along the lines of, “How do you see me? What do you think about me? How do you feel about me?” Whatever the first encouraging thing is that comes to mind, that’s God speaking to you. We tend to think, “Oh, I’m just trying to make myself feel good about myself.” But if that’s not normally what you think and what you say about yourself in your head, then there’s no reason that you would start saying that to yourself now!
Learning to hear God’s voice is like learning a new language. It takes some practice and getting familiar with the “sound” of His voice. When you learn another language, all the sounds seem to be muddled together at first. It’s hard to tell where one word ends and the next begins! But it gets easier, and there are fewer and fewer instances of misunderstanding. Even in our first language, we sometimes hear things wrong, but that doesn’t mean we don’t understand the language and can’t communicate! So even as we grow in hearing, recognizing, and understanding God’s voice, when we mis-hear something, it doesn’t mean we don’t know His language and can’t hear Him!
Many people think learning a language is hard. But God created us to be able to communicate and learn language. It’s part of our basic structure. By the time a child is 5 years old, he or she knows his language PERFECTLY. She may still need to learn more irregulars, but the rules she has down and is solid. She can’t add or subtract, she might still struggle with “left” vs “right” and tying her shoes, but she can take strings of words and put them together in a way that she’d never done before and had never heard before.
And God also created us to be able to communicate with Him and understand what He’s saying. He wants to speak to us! He wants to speak to you! He wants to speak to me! In so many ways, on so many topics, He wants to speak. He wants to have a conversation. We just need to stop, start to listen, and practice hearing and recognizing His voice.
Did you know that He wants to speak to you specifically?
He really does!!
One of the questions we always ask is (one basic question in a few forms)... How do I hear God’s voice? How does He speak? How do I know it’s God? What if it’s just me?
But I’m so confident in God’s ability to speak, and in His giving us the ability to communicate with Him, that I know if you or I ask Him a question, He will answer! The easiest question to ask Him and hear an answer for is often along the lines of, “How do you see me? What do you think about me? How do you feel about me?” Whatever the first encouraging thing is that comes to mind, that’s God speaking to you. We tend to think, “Oh, I’m just trying to make myself feel good about myself.” But if that’s not normally what you think and what you say about yourself in your head, then there’s no reason that you would start saying that to yourself now!
Learning to hear God’s voice is like learning a new language. It takes some practice and getting familiar with the “sound” of His voice. When you learn another language, all the sounds seem to be muddled together at first. It’s hard to tell where one word ends and the next begins! But it gets easier, and there are fewer and fewer instances of misunderstanding. Even in our first language, we sometimes hear things wrong, but that doesn’t mean we don’t understand the language and can’t communicate! So even as we grow in hearing, recognizing, and understanding God’s voice, when we mis-hear something, it doesn’t mean we don’t know His language and can’t hear Him!
Many people think learning a language is hard. But God created us to be able to communicate and learn language. It’s part of our basic structure. By the time a child is 5 years old, he or she knows his language PERFECTLY. She may still need to learn more irregulars, but the rules she has down and is solid. She can’t add or subtract, she might still struggle with “left” vs “right” and tying her shoes, but she can take strings of words and put them together in a way that she’d never done before and had never heard before.
And God also created us to be able to communicate with Him and understand what He’s saying. He wants to speak to us! He wants to speak to you! He wants to speak to me! In so many ways, on so many topics, He wants to speak. He wants to have a conversation. We just need to stop, start to listen, and practice hearing and recognizing His voice.
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