"The Lord Gives Sleep to His Beloved"

This phrase started going through my head several weeks ago, if not a couple months ago: "The Lord gives sleep to His beloved."  And I felt like the Lord was saying it to me.  I thought it was probably a verse, but I didn't know for sure, and I definitely didn't know where it was, although it sounds Psalm-like.  And it is.  Psalms 127:2b  Some versions of that verse say "rest" instead of "sleep", but the Hebrew word actually means sleep.  (Sometimes I look these things up.)

Since about September, I've daily felt like I need an afternoon nap.  This is a strange phenomenon for me, because I don't actually like naps.  I feel like they're boring and a waste of time.  I mean, there's a world to see!  People to see!  Things to do!  Books to read!  Conversations to be a part of!  Anything but....sleep.  I've sometimes wished I were one of those people who could live on 5 hours of sleep a night, but I'm not (even though I've had my moments... those seasons don't last though!).  But for the last several months I've been more of the attitude, "Whatever, I'm taking a nap.  See you later."  Every.  Day.

I started noticing that if I didn't get to the nap soon enough, I would struggle to stay awake in the middle of conversations with people, usually by 2pm.  Sooner if I got up earlier than "normal" or had been around more people than usual.  And if I didn't get a nap, I basically went through the adult version of what happens to a two-year-old if they don't get a nap.  "Come on Dina... you can smile at people, listen, and engage in conversation.  You don't need to throw things at people."  Okay, I never, normally, wanted to actually throw things at people.  I did struggle to not check out, however, and be adequately social and stuff (technical term).  I just literally could not make it past 2pm without a nap, or without adverse effects due to a lack of a nap.  What. On. Earth.

Even in Brazil, with no schedule, sleeping in, taking everything easy.... and every day, afternoon nap.  After nearly 2 weeks of this, I started getting concerned.  Am I just being lazy??!  Surely one cannot actually NEED this much sleep.  I started wondering if I should start forcing myself to stay awake all day.  After all, I'm not actually a two-year-old!  But then almost a week ago, something surprising happened.  I made it all the way through the day without needing to sleep, and without falling asleep.  And then another day.  And another.  I'm not lazy after all!  I just actually, really, seriously needed sleep in a way I didn't know one could need sleep.

"The Lord gives sleep to His beloved."  One of the things I'd been wanting to do in all these sleepy afternoons for the last several months was just spend some extra time with Jesus.  It usually amounted to nothing more than a few minutes of sleepy chatter and me passing out.  But honestly, I always felt like He was saying something like, "Don't worry about whatever you think you need to do to spend time with Me.  You need sleep.  You can just sleep, and I'll just be here with you."  And as I let myself take a nap instead of doing the million things I could have done -- things others may have wanted me to do, things I wanted to do or thought I should do, even things I wanted to do for Him -- I encountered the grace and kindness of God (God!), who would understand my weakness (that I haven't even understood), and say: It's okay if you're tired and can't do the things that you want to do.  You don't have to.  It's okay for you to just sleep.  Don't worry about everything else -- I have it under control.  You just sleep.

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want. 
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul.
~Psalms 23:1-3a

Learning God's Language

Did you know that God still speaks?
Did you know that He wants to speak to you specifically?
He really does!! 

One of the questions we always ask is (one basic question in a few forms)... How do I hear God’s voice?  How does He speak?  How do I know it’s God?  What if it’s just me?

But I’m so confident in God’s ability to speak, and in His giving us the ability to communicate with Him, that I know if you or I ask Him a question, He will answer!  The easiest question to ask Him and hear an answer for is often along the lines of, “How do you see me?  What do you think about me? How do you feel about me?”  Whatever the first encouraging thing is that comes to mind, that’s God speaking to you.  We tend to think, “Oh, I’m just trying to make myself feel good about myself.”  But if that’s not normally what you think and what you say about yourself in your head, then there’s no reason that you would start saying that to yourself now!

Learning to hear God’s voice is like learning a new language.  It takes some practice and getting familiar with the “sound” of His voice.  When you learn another language, all the sounds seem to be muddled together at first.  It’s hard to tell where one word ends and the next begins!  But it gets easier, and there are fewer and fewer instances of misunderstanding.  Even in our first language, we sometimes hear things wrong, but that doesn’t mean we don’t understand the language and can’t communicate!  So even as we grow in hearing, recognizing, and understanding God’s voice, when we mis-hear something, it doesn’t mean we don’t know His language and can’t hear Him!

Many people think learning a language is hard.  But God created us to be able to communicate and learn language.  It’s part of our basic structure.  By the time a child is 5 years old, he or she knows his language PERFECTLY.  She may still need to learn more irregulars, but the rules she has down and is solid.  She can’t add or subtract, she might still struggle with “left” vs “right” and tying her shoes, but she can take strings of words and put them together in a way that she’d never done before and had never heard before. 

And God also created us to be able to communicate with Him and understand what He’s saying.  He wants to speak to us!  He wants to speak to you!  He wants to speak to me!  In so many ways, on so many topics, He wants to speak.  He wants to have a conversation.  We just need to stop, start to listen, and practice hearing and recognizing His voice.

Having a Place - Habits and Stability

I’m learning how I’m a creature of habit.  I create habits that are generally helpful in life, to my health, to me spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically.  Sometimes the habits are so second nature that you don’t even realize they’re there!  Simple habits of making breakfast – even what you eat for breakfast – cooking in general, cleaning, going to work, reading before bed, playing music in the house, where you put your keys…

But when you’re outside of the environment where you created your habits, it’s easy for the habits to get lost in the midst of the new environment.  And when the environment changed every couple of months (which has been my experience over the last year and a half), it makes it very difficult to reform any habits.  Where do you even start?

Habits contribute to stability (whether good or bad), but if you’re essentially always on the road or somehow on the move, how do you create that stability?  The Lord has given me the grace to connect with Him and find comfort and stability in Him, but He provides in so many ways, and I’ve recently felt the need to have physical stability, reform some habits, and feel “normal” again – He is even in those things.

A few months ago, a friend of mine had a picture of a cultivated garden where I could come for rest and refreshment so that I could then go out to others to tend to their needs and bring refreshment to them.  But for myself, always needing to go back to my own “garden” and place of refreshment.  The pictures seems to speak to two things: the more obvious secret place with the Lord and connecting with Him, receiving from Him.  But I’ve also always wanted a home, that physically beautiful, comfortable, warm, inviting place that’s refreshing and restful, and from there to go out, meeting with people and caring for them – and then being able to come back to my safe, refreshing place.

I didn’t even realize I so valued a bit of structure, order, stability, and habits until they were gone!  And I do think having a physical place that’s comfortable, beautiful, warm, inviting, in order, organized, etc can be a basis for that.  It’s just a general sigh of relief.  Sometimes I feel like I’m my own paradox – I enjoy travel and I enjoy NOT traveling and being home.  If I would have known that before, I probably would have kept my duvet, duvet cover, decorative pillows, all my bedding, more of my art and pictures, and a couple other things too!  They weren’t quite as frivolous as I assumed them to be. 

But now I have a room that’s meeting needs for a nice, comfortable place.  So now on to recreating habits that I had before - cooking, eating healthy (hello fruits and veggies!), getting up early, time with Jesus, exercise, reading before bed, having a place for my keys (I have keys!).    

It’s made me think of the transient and houseless – situations even more unstable than mine.  How do they cope?  They may need a sense of stability more than they realize.  Ultimately that stability is from God, but He may use us to help give stability in ways that are much simpler than we realize – like simply being there every week at a certain place and time.  A small example of God’s consistency and expression of the stability He wants to give.  We may have the opportunity to be that expression for a season in someone’s life.

After Father's House and Going to Moz

It's been a whirlwind of activity here -- preparing for our outreach across southern Africa to Mozambique, the building project on our new housing continues, and the farm and winery has a big event this weekend, after finishing the 3rd Father's House Discipleship school a month ago! I've spent some time doing the building work on the house.  I've spent some time doing wrap-up work after the school.  I've spent some time catching up on super-hero movies (like Avengers 2).  I've been getting some extra sleep.  I've helped the family on our team by watching there children while they had their 4th child.  And I've spent time connecting with the family as well as other people I've met in town over the last couple of months.  I've been pondering the difference between unwinding and resting.  And sometimes you need to unwind before you rest!

The event this weekend, a wine tasting event for all the wineries in the area, has turned into an opportunity to share about God's work in our lives as the visitors wonder, Why are people from Canada, the US, and Germany here helping with wine tasting and working in the coffee shop??  Many people have enjoyed conversation with the unexpected mix of foreigners in South Africa, helping at a small farm and winery shop outside of Robertson, South Africa. 

I'm mostly packed for Mozambique.  Everyone going on the trip has gathered.  Most of the food for the travel has been purchased.  The adventure will begin on Monday!  :D

School's In Session!

 We're just finishing week four of the Father's House discipleship school, and it's been an amazing few weeks!  I'm not sure how to summarize the school so far.  It's another amazing group of students, small and intimate, so much hunger for Jesus -- I feel blessed to be a part!  I've lead the outreach to Avian Park, a township in a neighboring city.  It's actually YWAM who leads the evening: Monday, Wednesday and Friday they go to the township, sing songs and have a lesson for the children, then give everyone a hot meal.  There are a few adults who've also started attending, so we also make sure to spend time talking and praying with them.  I've met one couple, Jackie and Jacqueline, and have really enjoyed getting to know them!  Jacqueline is someone I want to just spend time with.  I pray for her, then she prays for me! 

Avian Park/YWAM Outreach -- the kids get dessert too.  Yum!

Last Monday we were able to visit the Deaf community and spend time in the old age home.  We played games together and communicated the best we could.  One woman showed us a picture of her son at his wedding.  She said they have no contact, and she doesn't even know how many children her son has.  She gave all of us a hug when we left -- and this was from a conversation that lasted no more than 5 minutes!  The residents were recently asked what they hope for in 2015, and almost all of them said, More visitors!  I'm so thankful that God used us to start answering their prayers.

Playing Bingo with the residents at the Old Age home for the Deaf.

God is doing His work, as He always does, in all of us.  A couple nights ago I sat in the "upper room" with two of the students, and one played the guitar and helped the other put chords to the song she had written.  As he played and she sang the song (which was clearly from her heart and God-breathed!), I just felt such pride and love and just completely amazed at seeing how God is speaking to her and the giftings He has put in her.  It was a special moment for me.  Yesterday for Good Friday, we spent some extra time considering Jesus's sacrifice for us and the salvation, life, freedom, and abundant blessings He's given us because of the cross!  We then celebrated Him and celebrated being a family by enjoying a big meal: salad, chicken tortilla soup, and shephard's pie (without the lentils), then finished the evening with milk tart for dessert and a move (The Gospel of John).

A couple crazy staff members, and a couple crazy students.

The Lord continues to stretch me as I learn to be a leader in these schools, learn to play the guitar/sing/be part of a worship team, and teach.  Yes, I'm learning to play the guitar!  Again!  Finally!  I have a 12 string guitar which sounds AMAZING, and I'm getting much better at playing smoothly.  I do pretty well with G, C, D, and Em.  I'm hoping to add Am and a couple other chords to my arsenal of chords.  Yet another blessing from this school: many guitar players and musicians to practice with!

Getting Settled in Africa! Sort of.

After spending most of 2014 in various countries in southern Africa, I’m getting permanently settled into South Africa.  I spent about 4 months here last year, so it feels a little like coming home and makes getting settled much easier!  Almost everyone here, I’ve known for almost a year, and even lived with two of them during the Father’s House school, so we know each other very well!  After sharing houses and homes and rooms with over 80 people in 2014, it’s a welcomed treat to be with people I know, and have known for so “long”!  And to…wait for it… have a room to myself, that’s “mine”.  The room is so big that I made a prayer corner. 

But I’ll soon have to say good-bye to that room for a couple reasons.  One, the Father’s House 3 school is starting March 9^th!  I’ll be moving back up to the school house on the 6^th or 7^th and be there until the end of April.  The other reason is, the owners of the house I’ve been living in want it back, so we need to move everything out by the end of March.  We’re working on building a new home for the 3 of us gals who live in that house.  I’m actually very excited!

Everything Africa

Some beautiful ladies in a Mozambiquan village.  They came to enjoy seeing pictures of themselves with big SMILES!

This year has been a whirlwind -- and an amazing one!  Hopefully you've been able to see some of the posts and snippets, but to express all that I've experienced and all that God has done this year would take a few hours to talk about.  I've spent the year with Iris Global ministries, involved in their discipleship and missionary schools, initially as a student, and now as staff and moving to working long-term with Iris.

Father's House 1 (FH1)

The Lord first took me to Robertson, South Africa to be a part of FH1 (then 5 weeks plus a 10 day outreach) as a student.  The Father's House School of Ministry is a discipleship school for those who are interested in ministry, missions, learning to live as the body of Christ, growing in their knowledge of God's word, and growing in their relationship with God.  The best way to describe what this school was for me: it allowed me to live as the family of God and body of Christ in close (very close!) community.  One house (with a couple of side rooms) for 17 people!  God also used this time to really soften my heart in areas where I had tended to protect myself.  Saying goodbye to this amazing bunch of people was not easy!  Thankfully, I've seen 6 members from this part of my world-wide family since the school ended!

Harvest School 20 (HS20)

Three weeks after FH1, I arrived in Pemba, Mozambique to attend HS20, which is an on-site, practical, 9-week missions training school.  We lived surrounded by villages where running water and electricity were incredibly scarce at best, and typically non-existant.  While I certainly enjoy the modern conveniences of running water and electricity, God gave me the grace to never feel deprived while I was hauling water from the well and cleaning dishes from water in a bucket.  Most of the world has to haul water much farther than I did!  This school impacted me in several ways.

• The incredible value of one person to God.  On my trip to a village out in the bush, the Lord highlighted a little girl about 10 years old to me, saying that He would have sent me to Mozambique just for that one girl.  He feels the same way for each person!  Never underestimate the power and importance of stopping for the one in front of you!
• There are many who live in external turmoil, and also many (even Christians) who live in internal turmoil -- God wants to rescue, love, and care for them both.
• The Person and Presence of God is so valuable, that the greatest thing we could ever "do" is simply carry His presence -- simple clay pots filled with Him.

Madagascar

This was both one of the hardest and one of the best trips I've ever been on!  I don't want to be unaware of the enemy's schemes when we go into his territory, and everything was a battle while I was there: my thoughts, emotions, time with the Lord, health -- I even had nightmares!  We spent time at the orphanage there, which had a boys' and girls' home.  I'd determined to spend time at the girls' home every day because they don't receive much attention -- and I fell in love with several of the girls! (Including the girl in my profile picture.)  We had a princess dance for them, and while watching all the girls dance and laugh, and watching the girl in my profile picture dance, I realized I felt like her mom should feel -- so much pride and joy at watching her dance, so many hopes and dreams for her.  These girls were so valuable!!  And they were worth every trial I faced while I was there.

Father's House 2 (FH2)

While FH1 was 5 weeks long, this school was nearly 7 weeks long, and this time I was there as one of the staff members.  I was doubly blessed this school because I got to staff it with two gals I'd done FH1 with -- and I got to watch 16 people be transformed by the love of God and living in a close, family environment, experiencing what we experienced in FH1!  We (staff) ran non-stop from sun up to sun down, available in every way from providing bandaids (plasters) and ibuprophen to being a listening ear and praying.  And we also got to see the amazing call and destiny God has for each person who came, watching them love the poor, and grow in love for each other.

What's Next?

I'm currently helping out with the HS21 extended outreach here in Robertson, South Africa.  After that, I'll be staying on here long term to help with the administrative side of things - communicating about the ministry here, answering emails, and helping prepare for the next Father's House school.  I'll also explore various ministry opportunities here -- visiting the local farm-workers' school and a nearby school for Deaf children.  I'll also continue seeking the Lord concerning the vision I have to see a house of prayer and worship started which has both ministry and sending components.  The ministry component would focus on missionaries, pastors, and leaders, providing for them a place for rest, refreshment, refilling, and restoration.  The sending side would focus on going to unreached places to pray, worship, and honor the Jesus where very few (or no one) acknowledges Him and inviting His presence to come so that people may know Him.  During the next year, I'll continue to do more traveling to learn from others who are currently ministering to missionaries and pastors, planting churches, and inviting the Lord to come make Himself known!  I greatly appreciate prayers in all this, for the Lord to make clear what this road looks like as I walk down it, and to open the doors for a long term visa or orchestrate everything to work out with temporary, 90 day visas.

Love and blessings to you all!  I'd love to hear from you and know how you're doing!