Giving a Reason for our Hope

I heard it mentioned today that among believers, most think it's part of their responsibility to share the Reason for the hope they have, and most even feel like they know how to, but few actually do, so why is that?  One possibility put forth was disobedience.  And while I believe that certainly factors in, I wondered if there are other factors.

There was a time when it was very easy for me to share -- it just came naturally.  I never had to think about it or wonder how.  It was as natural as bringing up a good friend or loved one (it was doing just that).  Then I started hearing often about how important it was to share the plan of salvation and see people become followers of The Way.  I'd certainly talked about The Way and Source and Reason for my hope, but had I really laid out "the plan" in thorough detail?  I hadn't seen anyone become a follower, nor had I seen anyone's life change dramatically, so I had not lived up to my responsibility.  I ended up feeling like a failure and inadequate, even before I started.

I know it is said to do certain things anyway, even when you don't feel like it, and there is certainly merit to that and time for that.  And I know that Paul said he didn't care about people's motives, only that The Way be proclaimed.  But when I stand before the One I love, I do care about my motives.  And I know that people can sometimes (often?) "sense" where things are coming from...how could I share about "Hope" out of a sense of failure and fear, and misrepresent that Hope and the One I love?  I don't know if it was disobedience, although part of it was certainly not believing what He said.

Not sharing broke my heart.  Having a part of me not want to share broke my heart even more, because I didn't want to disappoint Him, but felt like that was all I did.  I couldn't hear His direction -- I was too overwhelmed with feeling the weight of having to share with everyone right away -- skip the chit-chat and get to business!  But I wasn't made to shout on the street corners.  I want to talk with and see the person in front of me, yet still want to share. 

I still haven't shared much.  I've asked about it.  I try to look for opportunities.  Maybe I've missed some.  Maybe part of me still feels pressured.  Maybe I'm not obeying.  That's not my heart.  He says He's not disappointed.  Maybe I again need a greater revelation of His grace and love.  Maybe in one area or another, we all do.