Sing You a Song

I've always loved music. Always listened to music. Always sang. I even had people tell me to stop because I sung along to everything. The game show "Name that Tune"? I could always name it in 3 notes or less. It wasn't unusual for me to do it in 1 note.

My mom always seemed to have music going on the weekends. Either Dolly Parton, Roger Whittacker, Amy Grant, and Michael Card.  I'd always have my walkman going...then later portable CD player.  I was in church choir my freshman year of high school.  When my baby sister was born, I'd rock her and sing her to sleep.

In high school and very early college, certain CDs, my friends and I would listen to over and over and over again.  (Particularly Dennis Jernigan.)  One group of friends, we'd listen to the same song for hours.  I remember listening to Bob Fitz and Kent Henry and them coming to our church -- Kent Henry remembered everyone's names and one night sung a song over us -- it was an amazing evening how God met us, it's still one of my favorite songs, and I've been fascinated by the concept of singing over people every since.  And when I was sad, I would call a certain friend and tell him, "Sing me a sing." 

During hard times or even just times of seeking God, a certain song or set of songs would stand out to me, and I'd listen to or sing them over and over again.  I've discovered now that if I'm having a hard time, I can go back to those songs and they take me back, speak to me, encourage me, and remind me of how God met me.

When I moved out of my parents' house, I regularly had music playing in my dorm/apartment/room.  I'd often go to sleep to music.  And yes, at times, I enjoyed loud music!  When I moved to Texas, however, my roommate didn't like having music on.  Really didn't like it.  I was greatly disappointed about this, but I didn't see it as a "big deal" at the time -- just my likes and her likes, so I respected her wishes... without compromise.

After 6 years of limited music, I visited my friends in California (before I moved here, obviously).  Every morning they put on a praise and worship CD.  I loved it.  It seemed to bring peace and calm -- at least to me.  Even still, when I go over to their house and they have music playing (particularly p&w), inside I feel like, "ahhhhhhhhhhh....." and I'm always bummed when the music gets turned off.

Music is powerful.  Extremely oppressive rules control or even banish music (Taliban).  Music can encourage, comfort, be a means of expressing of joy and happiness or sorrow and mourning. And the Lord inhabits the praises of His people.  In the NT, jailed apostles sang in prison.  There are stories of jailed believers now (in countries with persecution) singing and it lifting their spirits, changing the attitudes of those around them, even being told to stop because, "Your songs are going to convert us too!"  The Lord inhabits the praises of His people. 

In the past few months, in part thanks to my Kindle (Christmas gift), I've been playing music in the house more -- in the morning when I get up, and at night as I fall asleep.  I even had music going a lot of the time while I was writing my thesis -- particularly Laura Woodley, because it's just so peaceful and soothing. 

I've been reading a book about a missionary's experiences in various countries -- his experience in Somalia was particularly heart-breaking.  The situation the people have been in is beyond what we could even begin to imagine.  They're in such desperate need -- what can be done?  Really only God can change that situation -- we've already tried our best efforts, and that hasn't worked.  Hardly any songs are sung there at all.  I found part of me thinking about going there just to sing Him a song.  The Lord inhabits the praises of His people.

Married Thoughts

I like the sign BELIEVE in ASL.  It's literally THINK + MARRY.  It struck me the first time I saw the sign, and I've been pondering it again in the last week or so, as I've been listening to discussions about belief -- belief in God, the finished work of the cross, the promises of God, the words of Jesus, and what it means, looks like, and implications of believing it all.  Just a few things that Jesus said:
You will do greater things than I have.
It is finished.
I will always be with you.
I will let you know what to say, so don't worry about it.
I will provide the food, clothing, and shelter you need.
There is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus.
You are the light of the world.
You're no longer a slave to sin, but a slave to righteousness.
You're an entirely new creation, completely different from whatever was before.
My grace is sufficient.
You are being changed from glory to glory.
And on and on and on....

What if our thoughts were married to these things that Jesus said? 
Where our thoughts are is incredibly important.  The harshest rebuke Peter received from Jesus ("Get behind me, Satan!") was when his thoughts were on human concerns rather than having in mind God's thoughts.

Paul talks about being a slave to God's law in his mind, that living life according to the flesh is evidence of a mind that is focused on and believes what the flesh desires and wants, not what God says and wants.  He was concerned for the Corinthians, that their minds would be turned away from simple devotion to Jesus.  In Ephesians he talks about getting rid of our old way of thinking and desires and having a new mind.  He links together our behavior and thoughts, saying we're enemies of God in our minds because of (or as evidenced by) our behavior.

James talks about being double-minded: not fully believing and being susceptible to the circumstances around them. 

And Jesus talks about believing: believing what He says, who He is, what He does, what He will do.  (Especially in John.)

What's in our minds is a big deal!  No wonder Paul talks about being transformed by renewing our minds: by readjusting what we believe.  So set our minds on things above.  To marry our thoughts to God's thoughts and God's words. 

Awhile back, the big question was, "What would Jesus do?"  Maybe the big question is, "What would Jesus think?"  If we think something that Jesus doesn't think, we're believing something He doesn't believe -- our thoughts aren't married to His.

So whatever the answer is to "What would Jesus think?", marry your thoughts to that thought.

Giving a Reason for our Hope

I heard it mentioned today that among believers, most think it's part of their responsibility to share the Reason for the hope they have, and most even feel like they know how to, but few actually do, so why is that?  One possibility put forth was disobedience.  And while I believe that certainly factors in, I wondered if there are other factors.

There was a time when it was very easy for me to share -- it just came naturally.  I never had to think about it or wonder how.  It was as natural as bringing up a good friend or loved one (it was doing just that).  Then I started hearing often about how important it was to share the plan of salvation and see people become followers of The Way.  I'd certainly talked about The Way and Source and Reason for my hope, but had I really laid out "the plan" in thorough detail?  I hadn't seen anyone become a follower, nor had I seen anyone's life change dramatically, so I had not lived up to my responsibility.  I ended up feeling like a failure and inadequate, even before I started.

I know it is said to do certain things anyway, even when you don't feel like it, and there is certainly merit to that and time for that.  And I know that Paul said he didn't care about people's motives, only that The Way be proclaimed.  But when I stand before the One I love, I do care about my motives.  And I know that people can sometimes (often?) "sense" where things are coming from...how could I share about "Hope" out of a sense of failure and fear, and misrepresent that Hope and the One I love?  I don't know if it was disobedience, although part of it was certainly not believing what He said.

Not sharing broke my heart.  Having a part of me not want to share broke my heart even more, because I didn't want to disappoint Him, but felt like that was all I did.  I couldn't hear His direction -- I was too overwhelmed with feeling the weight of having to share with everyone right away -- skip the chit-chat and get to business!  But I wasn't made to shout on the street corners.  I want to talk with and see the person in front of me, yet still want to share. 

I still haven't shared much.  I've asked about it.  I try to look for opportunities.  Maybe I've missed some.  Maybe part of me still feels pressured.  Maybe I'm not obeying.  That's not my heart.  He says He's not disappointed.  Maybe I again need a greater revelation of His grace and love.  Maybe in one area or another, we all do.

To Hong Kong and Back In 7 Days

I spent a few days in Hong Kong at a conference for Sign Language linguistics and Deaf education.  I enjoyed so many aspects of it, but one truly amazing thing was the number of different countries represented in one way or another: at least 15.  US, Brazil, Germany, Netherlands, UK, Australia, Hungary, Turkey, France, Singapore, Malaysia, China, Japan, Taiwan, Cambodia, Vietnam, Myanmar, Mongolia, Fiji, India...

Most of these places have different spoken languages, all have different signed languages.  Presentations were given in English, ASL, or HKSL (Hong Kong Sign Language).  Spoken language interpretations went out in several languages to the interpreters who then interpreted into their respective sign language.  Everyone communicated in sign language, and you couldn't really tell if someone was Deaf or hearing unless you knew well the sign language being used.  So several people (particularly Asians) thought I was Deaf, and I thought a few people were Deaf when they were actually hearing.  And even though people were communicating with a lot of different sign languages, you could somehow figure out what others were saying.  Well, I had a hard time because I'm not even proficient in one sign language, but everyone else was able to make it work.  It was amazing.

And it was amazing on so many levels.  Culturally in the way of different nations.  Culturally in the way of Deaf and hearing.  All the different languages and sign languages.  But all able to come together, communicate, share information, and enjoy meeting each other.  Even though I don't know Taiwanese Sign Language, I could understand must more TSL than I could spoken Taiwanese.  It ended up making me ponder what Heaven will be like: people from all different backgrounds, languages, and cultures, yet still having something in common and somehow able to communicate with each other. 

The saddest thing to me was my mediocre signing skills.  I wanted to interact more!!  But I knew there was no way I could ask an academic question and understand the response.  Other topics I was unsure of my ability to communicate -- any conversation that could go deeper.  It made me wonder how I can fast-track becoming more proficient in ASL...and definitely want to go back. 

I'd forgotten how much I love other cultures, peoples, languages...part of why my poor communication skills was so sad to me, to have a sweet, beautiful Taiwanese woman sign to me in TSL and only be able to understand about 50%.  And to "hear" the stories and experiences of people who've been looked down upon by some just because they can't hear. 

It's crazy that I plan a trip to Hong Kong like I'd plan a trip to a city in the US that I'd never been there before.  Basically, "I have my plane ticket -- I can figure everything else out." (I am the weirdest mix of planner/non-planner!  I guess the first step MUST be planned, then... whatever!)  Don't know if that's the best method... but for Hong Kong it was fine.  I rode the bus and the train wondering how many other representatives of the Kingdom had ridden that bus, or that train, or down that street.  I wondered how many had heard... and didn't know what to do, other than pray that His presence would come to every place I stepped and to the entire city. 

Hidden Identity

You ever wonder about Joseph's strange behavior when his brother's first show up in Egypt?  He recognizes them immediately, but he pretends "to be a stranger" and immediately speaks "harshly" to them.  He remembers the dreams he had before, then accuses them of being spies and throws them all in jail for 3 days.  Initially he said he'd send one brother back with grain and insist that he bring the youngest brother, Benjamin, back before he'd release the others.  But after they've been in jail for 3 days, he says that he'll only keep one in jail and let the others return.  Joseph hears them lamenting about how they treated him (causing him great distress and he pleaded for his life) and that they're now being treated harshly because of what they had done.  The brothers didn't realize it, but Joseph understand them and breaks down into tears. 

Joseph keeps Simeon, but then... he gives them all their gold back!  Which is nice... but they have a panic attack because was so hostile toward them.  When they come back with Benjamin, he shows preferential treatment to Benjamin and then frames him for stealing his cup.  The brothers are beside themselves with panic.  Judah offers himself in Benjamin's place.

The general concensus has been that Joseph's song and dance with Benjamin was to test his brothers and see what they'd do.  But what about everything else?  It seems like we often try to make sense of it from the perpsective of Joseph was a saint and (at least at this point) did no wrong.  He'd moved past his hurts from his brothers selling him off to slavery because he name Manasseh saying, "God has made me forget all my troubles in my father's household."  So his strange, errat

ic behavior was a part of some godly, strategic plan.

But... let's get real.  His erratic behavior wasn't by some well-planned design on his part -- he was an emotional wreck and acted like any of us do when we're a wreck.  If Joseph had really forgiven his brothers, he still hadn't seen them -- and he was still human.  Did all the memories of that horrible day flood back?  Was he harsh and making accusations against them simply because he felt hurt and angry again?  Did he hide his identity from them because he didn't trust them?  Was he fearful about how they'd react?  Did he simply not know how else to respond?  So it was just easier and safer to hide who he was. 

I know that feeling: hiding who you are from your family.  Something happens that's hurtful -- you somehow felt disapproved of or rejected -- and it just seems safer to hide your identity.  I've done that -- currently doing it even.  Certain things that are important to me, I just haven't let people know.  In fact, I've intentionally kept it from others.  When asked what I'm interested in or what role I may want in something... I say nothing, or that it doesn't matter -- I'll do whatever.  The thing I enjoy, am interested in, good at, or even passionate about, I won't say.  I enjoy being part of a worship team and would love to help make a way for people to enter into God's presence.  But what if everyone thinks that's ridiculous and I'm not really good at it?  I'd like to be involved with (or start) a ministry like Fresh Start or CISM 7, but what if no one comes or I'm just not equipped to do it?  It just seems safer to hide who I am rather than put myself out there again.

Joseph was a man of God, he did follow the Lord, but he was still human like the rest of is.  He still felt rejected and hurt and for a time even hid his true identity.  But eventually... he did reveal his identity to his brothers, and his brothers embraced him.